Monday, May 23, 2011
Going Through Adult Puberty
I am woman enough to admit that I am going through adult puberty. I have no shame in this, the fact that I can acknowledge that I am not developed as a full grown adult, is a start. Now to explain myself a little better, I will just start by saying that in no way am I under the influence. This is not an alcohol induced confession session. This is my official start to therapy. Blog therapy;so I'll be counseling myself for very cheap. And I mean cheap, my payment to myself will be late night butter pecan ice cream on a waffle cone. (Note to self, start diet after therapy trial.)
So,basically I am preparing anyone who reads this blog, (if that's possible) that it's going to be a bumpy ride! I'm not kidding folks, the main reason I don't get to write all of the time is because of the insanity of motherhood. But I am going to change all of this insha Allah. I am going to pour all of whats going on into here. So please don't be alarmed, this is going to help.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Our School House Rock!
Don't worry folks, he's not eating the crayon, he's exploring. By the way I took it from him, so he's fine. My kids have to smell, taste, listen, touch, and see everything. They're like your senior citizen next door neighbor who can always tell ya who came past while you were out.
"Terrible,Horrible,No Good, Very Bad Day"
That's right, you read correctly. The day started off bad; I log on to my sons homeschooling website and check the mail to discover horror. The E-mail was from our family support coordinator informing me of my "neglect". There were two days that I forgot to log-on to the site, but we had school anyway. My other two sons had appointments and my homeschooling son had an appointment with his psychologist. All-in-all, she has the mentality of, "It's your problem, not mines so I don't truly care". I realized in the same conversation that I had forgotten to call the dentist office to let them know that they sent the bill to the school, instead of the school form. It is the end Of the school year and I feel that I have failed miserably.
On a good note, his virtual teacher explained to me, that first year parents usually have a hard time. This was reassuring and uplifting. It made me feel like supermom again. I got my terry cloth towel and tied it around my neck; turned the fan on, and let it flap in the wind. (Yeah, I've got a pretty strong fan) Don't forget to feed the fish!
On a good note, his virtual teacher explained to me, that first year parents usually have a hard time. This was reassuring and uplifting. It made me feel like supermom again. I got my terry cloth towel and tied it around my neck; turned the fan on, and let it flap in the wind. (Yeah, I've got a pretty strong fan) Don't forget to feed the fish!
Itching For Summer
If there is anyone out there, and by out there I mean anyone who cares to keep up with my blog, you will notice my blog theme is summer already. Yes I know, the insanity of this blog just keeps piling up. In my defense, I would like to say that time has been moving faster, so before you know it, my blog theme will be appropriate. Plus, the colors are really cool. I don't know what it is about primary colors that makes me want to be a kid again. The thought of arts and crafts run through my brain, along with a little shabby chic.
Summer also has a tendency to make bad news easier to bare, and hard times easier to cope with. There is a goldmine of entertainment for the kids, and you can bet your bottom dollar they sleep better in the summer time. When you have a mixture of exhaustion, dirt, sweat, and a hot bath; you're looking at the recipe for a coma at the end of the day. During colder months, I still try to get the boys outside, I also believe fresh air is a good sleep aid.
The only thing I have to remind myself during all of this summer fun, is to refrain from running right along with the kids. My energy level and ability to be a big kid is a curse and a blessing at the same time. I see a huge slide and I just have to go down it a few times. Not to mention, sometimes I have the urge to "save" my kids. My family and friends call it babying, but I call it saving my sanity. (what I have left anyway)
The only downside for me with going to the parks and outings, is watching my boys with other kids. The other kids kind of feel awkward about them after a while, and with that awkwardness, comes my sons nervous ticks. My eldest kid says phrases he hears on television, even if it has nothing to do with the situation. He also may began to talk to himself, out of nervousness, and make little hand gestures I can't explain. My second son's speech is not always comprehensible, so kids don't always understand him. He may began to pace and hum, do inappropriate interaction (poking other kids) and like to do things repetitively.
My youngest son is by far the worse for me to watch. The only thing he is interested in, when visiting the park, are the wood chips on the ground. He stands completely oblivious of anyone else's existence, and just watch the wood chips fall between his fingers. When I see him doing this, I take his hand and kind of guide him around the park for him to have fun. Where ever he is locked away in that brain of his, I just pray that someday he'll be let out. Because I have seen his charming personality. If he would just stay in our world long enough to understand vocabulary, and communicate, the more secure I would feel.
Every mother has a worse nightmare, my worse nightmare is not being able to care for my children. I am their interpreter and advocate, who's going to understand them when they do not comprehend things well? At this point, I can only leave it to my faith. There are sometimes when a person has to understand that they are not meant to fix everything, and in knowing that, need to accept things they can not fix. Sadly I am not there yet. That is advice I will gladly give, but can not take.
Insha Allah, (God willing) I will get that peace someday. But until then.... please feed the blogpets on the lower left hand side. ;-)
Summer also has a tendency to make bad news easier to bare, and hard times easier to cope with. There is a goldmine of entertainment for the kids, and you can bet your bottom dollar they sleep better in the summer time. When you have a mixture of exhaustion, dirt, sweat, and a hot bath; you're looking at the recipe for a coma at the end of the day. During colder months, I still try to get the boys outside, I also believe fresh air is a good sleep aid.
The only thing I have to remind myself during all of this summer fun, is to refrain from running right along with the kids. My energy level and ability to be a big kid is a curse and a blessing at the same time. I see a huge slide and I just have to go down it a few times. Not to mention, sometimes I have the urge to "save" my kids. My family and friends call it babying, but I call it saving my sanity. (what I have left anyway)
The only downside for me with going to the parks and outings, is watching my boys with other kids. The other kids kind of feel awkward about them after a while, and with that awkwardness, comes my sons nervous ticks. My eldest kid says phrases he hears on television, even if it has nothing to do with the situation. He also may began to talk to himself, out of nervousness, and make little hand gestures I can't explain. My second son's speech is not always comprehensible, so kids don't always understand him. He may began to pace and hum, do inappropriate interaction (poking other kids) and like to do things repetitively.
My youngest son is by far the worse for me to watch. The only thing he is interested in, when visiting the park, are the wood chips on the ground. He stands completely oblivious of anyone else's existence, and just watch the wood chips fall between his fingers. When I see him doing this, I take his hand and kind of guide him around the park for him to have fun. Where ever he is locked away in that brain of his, I just pray that someday he'll be let out. Because I have seen his charming personality. If he would just stay in our world long enough to understand vocabulary, and communicate, the more secure I would feel.
Every mother has a worse nightmare, my worse nightmare is not being able to care for my children. I am their interpreter and advocate, who's going to understand them when they do not comprehend things well? At this point, I can only leave it to my faith. There are sometimes when a person has to understand that they are not meant to fix everything, and in knowing that, need to accept things they can not fix. Sadly I am not there yet. That is advice I will gladly give, but can not take.
Insha Allah, (God willing) I will get that peace someday. But until then.... please feed the blogpets on the lower left hand side. ;-)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tragedy or Psycosis?
Of course as a mother my heart aches upon hearing about the death of a child, but there is the case of little 6 year old Camden Pierce Hughs. The internet has been lit a fire about this beautiful little boy, and his murder. I have found confusing information, that it was an accident of too much cough syrup, but if so, then why wasn't he taken to a hospital? I personally feel, that even if this terrible occurrence was in fact an accident, a mother would never desecrate her child's body in the likes. This scenario does not sit well with me; it's cold and has so much of the mother distancing herself emotionally from the child. It's like late postpartum depression at it's sickest.
There are mothers who have done the unthinkable, but this is usually the work of a madman. Mothers don't wrap their children in blankets, on an open road, to be devoured by beasts and exposed to the elements. Dead or alive, we would rather see our babies gently placed in the earth, and covered. My point is, this is so "unmotherly like", it's even inhuman. What have we become? Why is it, that I practically have a heart attack if my kid gets a splinter and they could kill theirs? What chemicals are these women missing? There are those of us walking around with low serotonin levels, and still we have a fight in us that is specifically for our children.
Oh Camden, my heart aches for you honey. Not because I have a son your age, but because the one person who was suppose to protect you from the boogey man, was the boogey man. Your natural trust,left you naturally vulnerable, and a true innocent you were. I only pray that I will meet you in paradise, insha Allah. (If God wills it) Ameen
There are mothers who have done the unthinkable, but this is usually the work of a madman. Mothers don't wrap their children in blankets, on an open road, to be devoured by beasts and exposed to the elements. Dead or alive, we would rather see our babies gently placed in the earth, and covered. My point is, this is so "unmotherly like", it's even inhuman. What have we become? Why is it, that I practically have a heart attack if my kid gets a splinter and they could kill theirs? What chemicals are these women missing? There are those of us walking around with low serotonin levels, and still we have a fight in us that is specifically for our children.
Oh Camden, my heart aches for you honey. Not because I have a son your age, but because the one person who was suppose to protect you from the boogey man, was the boogey man. Your natural trust,left you naturally vulnerable, and a true innocent you were. I only pray that I will meet you in paradise, insha Allah. (If God wills it) Ameen
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Another One Bites The Dust
In the midst of chaos, I have possibly lost yet another brain cell today. The heat of the weather made things oh so "fun". (sarcasm)The day started off with the average screams and whining of a mid 19th century insane asylum. I stumbled out of bed as I heard my 5 year old pacing and humming, which was my cue that he had to go to the bathroom. As i walked partially blind down the hall from not fully being awake, I had to appreciate the fact that it wasn't 4 o'clock in the morning. Al-humdulillah. :-D He squirmed all the way to the bathroom and danced until he sat on the toilet.
Although this process may seem strange to some folks, but my son has quirks about going to the bathroom alone. It's not always an issue, there are times he actually braves the trip to the bathroom alone, and then normally he just won't do it. I have seen him wet himself out of not wanting to go to the bathroom. So consider "The Case Of The Bathroom Quirk", unsolved.
While standing sleepily at the bathroom door, a 3 year old whines and screeches for me to pick him up and take him where there is food. Vocabulary is limited, so I make out "juice juice" and "eat eat" and head for the kitchen. The screeching side tracked me from my bathroom frightened son, and i realized he was running down the hall with his briefs on backwards. (I didn't switch them; I won't lie. I was happy the kid remembered to put them back on this time.) Upon entering the kitchen, I found a "looter".
"Mom, I'll make my own cereal", hearing this sent mixed emotions through my head. "Why?" you ask, because this is coming from my first born, loving son. The man is a master at mind games. I don't know if I should be happy because here is an independent kid finally in the house,or look at it as a future topic while on a visit to my mothers house. "Mommy wouldn't make my cereal so I made it all by myself." Yet the tone in his voice said, "Gosh I'll make it since your too zombified to do anything meaningful". I'm definitly leaning towards the latter.
Needless to say, it was rocky; and I don't mean Sylvester Stallone came in and saved the day. Oh no, I felt like the victim of a forced Trepanning, and everyone got a turn to take pokes at my brain. I survived because prayer works.
After getting through breakfast, I marched the children into the bathroom for a thorough brushing. My 6 year old "senior citizen", once again announced his independence and brushed his own teeth. The 5 year old just kind of moaned and groaned the whole time, and my three year old had to practically be put into a body lock. (I survived teeth brushing because I had a will to live.)
By now it is time for school, and because I don't want the older children distracted, I send my 3 year old into the bedroom to watch a movie. We started school wonderfully; everything fell into place. I had almost convinced myself that not only was I a super mom, I was THE supermom. The empowering moment came to a halt when my 3 year old found it hilarious to interrupt school time. But on this particular day, the older kids didn't find it funny. So what does my ingenious 6 year old do? He takes his little brother back to the bedroom and closes the door. I was so proud of him, I felt he had just saved the day. My smile soon faded when he proudly declared, "Yes mommy, I locked Meatball in the room!". With this discovery, I remembered I had no idea where the skeleton keys was to open it. On cue, my 3 year old begins screaming,crying, and kicking the door. By now the events of the morning had left me strangely calm, and I don't know who I am anymore. Finally the skeleton key was found after an eternity, (30 minutes), and we returned to our regularly scheduled program. Only to later find out that our regularly scheduled program doesn't start until tomorrow. Yes, you read it right, school on an off day.
I survived because....I'm taller than they are. (For now)
Although this process may seem strange to some folks, but my son has quirks about going to the bathroom alone. It's not always an issue, there are times he actually braves the trip to the bathroom alone, and then normally he just won't do it. I have seen him wet himself out of not wanting to go to the bathroom. So consider "The Case Of The Bathroom Quirk", unsolved.
While standing sleepily at the bathroom door, a 3 year old whines and screeches for me to pick him up and take him where there is food. Vocabulary is limited, so I make out "juice juice" and "eat eat" and head for the kitchen. The screeching side tracked me from my bathroom frightened son, and i realized he was running down the hall with his briefs on backwards. (I didn't switch them; I won't lie. I was happy the kid remembered to put them back on this time.) Upon entering the kitchen, I found a "looter".
"Mom, I'll make my own cereal", hearing this sent mixed emotions through my head. "Why?" you ask, because this is coming from my first born, loving son. The man is a master at mind games. I don't know if I should be happy because here is an independent kid finally in the house,or look at it as a future topic while on a visit to my mothers house. "Mommy wouldn't make my cereal so I made it all by myself." Yet the tone in his voice said, "Gosh I'll make it since your too zombified to do anything meaningful". I'm definitly leaning towards the latter.
Needless to say, it was rocky; and I don't mean Sylvester Stallone came in and saved the day. Oh no, I felt like the victim of a forced Trepanning, and everyone got a turn to take pokes at my brain. I survived because prayer works.
After getting through breakfast, I marched the children into the bathroom for a thorough brushing. My 6 year old "senior citizen", once again announced his independence and brushed his own teeth. The 5 year old just kind of moaned and groaned the whole time, and my three year old had to practically be put into a body lock. (I survived teeth brushing because I had a will to live.)
By now it is time for school, and because I don't want the older children distracted, I send my 3 year old into the bedroom to watch a movie. We started school wonderfully; everything fell into place. I had almost convinced myself that not only was I a super mom, I was THE supermom. The empowering moment came to a halt when my 3 year old found it hilarious to interrupt school time. But on this particular day, the older kids didn't find it funny. So what does my ingenious 6 year old do? He takes his little brother back to the bedroom and closes the door. I was so proud of him, I felt he had just saved the day. My smile soon faded when he proudly declared, "Yes mommy, I locked Meatball in the room!". With this discovery, I remembered I had no idea where the skeleton keys was to open it. On cue, my 3 year old begins screaming,crying, and kicking the door. By now the events of the morning had left me strangely calm, and I don't know who I am anymore. Finally the skeleton key was found after an eternity, (30 minutes), and we returned to our regularly scheduled program. Only to later find out that our regularly scheduled program doesn't start until tomorrow. Yes, you read it right, school on an off day.
I survived because....I'm taller than they are. (For now)
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