Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Stuffed Full Of Love

I am not a good blogger; I have come to that acceptance after blog surfing and becoming green with envy. I could be a good blogger, but I need motivation, a cheerleader of sorts. But in order to do that, I would have had to have my blog seen in the first place right? So my pets are going hungry, and every now and then I can hear crickets on my blogs page. (Sarcasm of course)
I've started a book, and that's about all I have done with it. Writers block suck, along with bottomless ideas. My brain is at it's limit of bursting, and yet my fingers are going no where. I'd write a book about my life, but that would take volumes, and if I can't get one measly book done you can pretty much forget a library, trilogy, or even a sequel out of me.
How are the children doing you say? Allahu Akbar, is my answer. Never have I felt more blessed, masha Allah. Isma'eel is back home, although his stay has been determined indefinite, I like to think of it as "for a long time".Blessings are everyday, there is no way to actually think things happen by accident, or just by chance. It's not just by chance that I love the craziest kidnappers this side of the globe. No; that's something special, something only a mother can understand.
To be programmed to love, protect, and sacrifice for a person the moment you meet them, has to make a believer out of anyone. It's powerful, even more powerful than falling in love with your own parents. With growth, a baby falls in love with it's care giver, but how do you put into words the feeling you get when you hear the first cry? Allahu Akbar.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I Don't Have ADHD, My Thoughts Do

So, I've been sailing on a stream of consciousness, and I am officially sea sick. I can't always keep up; I put way more on myself than I really should, and I am officially overwhelmed. Subhanullah. I have been holding that inside of myself, hoping it would not come to this. Moms are normally super, almost appearing non-human. I have not mastered the art of even faking it. So here's the start of my therapy: 1) I need to write in my blog everyday. 2) I should really try to take on the "Go getter" persona, to do better in different areas of my life. 3) And finally, I just need to grow up!! The victim has left the building. The old damsel has to evolve at some point, and get a friggin back bone. I don't want to whine anymore, I want to tell it like it is and know what I am talking about. I've been an under-dog for way too long; and although it was fun to show everyone how I rise from the ashes, I am tired of the pain of burning myself. I must start today, this hour, this minute, this second; I must be a woman. Don't forget to feed my blog pets.
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