Although I am one who's known to complain and find fault in almost everything I do, I truly still have my childish outlook on life and people. I find myself wondering blindly through my thoughts, replaying certain events that could have gone better than their outcome. In those moments, I still have the feeling of, "It's ok, everything is going to get better. I just have to wait a little, and I'll show everyone." It's those days that give me the "zest" to keep going with a happy face. Because let's face it, we all HAVE to keep going, but we all can't do it with a happy face.
I'm a professional enthusiast at times, and even have pride about it , but reality reminds me that even clowns can cry. There was a time I felt almost immortal and untouchable, like I could make anything happen. Ah, the joys of immaturity; it is a complete enigma to wonder where your happiness lies in life. Can complete ignorance make you happy, or knowing reality in it's entirety? A fellow "childish enthusiast" would probably agree and say, "When I didn't know, I felt safer", and I would have to agree with them. But it's strange how not having a good understanding of reality can cause damage beyond repair, and with each reality learned, your blissful ignorance disappears.
It is days that I am feeling this way that I tell life, "I want a refund!"