I have come to realize that my life is in a state of utter chaos at the moment. There is no organization what so ever. I tried the whole poster board thing, making a schedule; putting up rules; but lets face it, it's hardly ever used. Things are so out of whack, I have been feeling like a complete loser lately. Nothings working out right. It seems as though if anything good happens, it's not to me. Then I stoop into the whole feeling of "You're so ungrateful, unappreciative, and immature.", that's when I start to feel like a loser.
On top of those issues, I'm not taking very good care of myself. I haven't been to the doctors in a long time. I have a bad back, and have not been formally diagnosed with diabetes. I've been rushed to the hospital and have had issues with my sugar, but each time they tell me to follow up with my doctor I never get around to doing it. I look around and it seems like every other mom has things all together. Sure, we've all got our own problems, but I'm so alone. I never actually say anything to my friends because I don't want to seem desperate. It's not like I get enough time for myself anyhow to be with someone. My children have needs 24 hours a day, and I want to make sure those needs are met, and are met correctly.
For now, I'll just have to return to the schedule I have posted on my wall, and enforce the rules better. Looking up new activities shouldn't be a problem. At least I shouldn't run into any problems if the kids co-operate with me. Well; here goes nothing!!